


Virgil’s Friends Don’t Get Dead Training (A Series of Drabbles)

by AdrianaintheSnow



Series: Birds of Different Feathers [5]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Assassins, End game Moxiety, Gen, Poison mentioned, knives mentioned, strangulation mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:34:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27908314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdrianaintheSnow/pseuds/AdrianaintheSnow
Summary: The ex-assassin, Virgil, loves his found family and wants them to be safe. His methods are… unconventional, but done out of love.This is my 100,000 word celebration for the Birds of Different Feathers series. I wrote 9 drabbles (100 words each) and 1 double drabble (200 words) to end it up.The Birds of Different Feathers series consists of two major stories: Little Kestrel and Kill Dear. Both are stand alone, if connected and these drabbles happen between Little Kestrel and Kill Dear.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Birds of Different Feathers [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1867075
Comments: 53
Kudos: 151





	1. Logan catching things lessons

**Author's Note:**

> Technically I'm not up to 100,000 words on AO3, but I'm past it for Little Kestrel on my blog. So, have this!

Logan’s head jerked up from his book when a small, soft ball smacked him in the head. He narrowed his eyes at Virgil. “No,” he said firmly. Another ball smacked him on the head. “ _Stop._ ”

“Catch it,” Virgil insisted from his seat on the floor a few feet away.

“I cannot catch things.”

“Learn.”

“ _Virgil_.”

“What if someone throws a knife at you?! You need to be prepared!”

“No one is going to thr-” Another of the balls smacked him in the head. “How many of those do you have?!” Another ball to the face was his answer.

“Virgil. _No._ ”


	2. Climbing lessons for Patton and Logan.

Logan rushed into the courtyard looking frazzled. “What did you do with our notes for the budget meeting?” he asked Patton.

“What do you mean?” Patton asked. “They were on the desk.”

“Well, they aren’t now.”

“But…” Patton straightened and slowly turned to Virgil who’d been acting cagey all morning. “Where are they?”

He cocked his head to the side and then looked up.

Patton and Logan both look up to see a box somehow attached to the wall about 10 feet above their heads.

“Get them down,” Logan ordered.

“Climb for them.”

“Virgil, we need those!”

“Climb. For. Them.”


	3. Spatial awareness training with Patton.

Patton was minding his own business, walking towards the kitchens to see Mama. After all these years, he did feel a slight tingle of awareness, but it was far too late. He was already being tackled from behind.

Patton groaned once he’d realized what had happened.

“I followed you from the library!” Virgil chided, pinning Patton to the ground by the shoulders.

Patton groaned again.

“You need to be more aware of your surroundings!”

“I know, I know. Can you let me up now?”

“No! Consequence!” The consequence was apparently being thoroughly hugged.

“We’re in the middle of the hallway!”


	4. Snatching away knives training with Logan and Patton.

“I’m a medium skilled knife user,” Virgil proclaimed, brandishing a knife in a way he’d taught Logan not to. “Now, take the knife away from me.”

“Not right now, Virgil,” Logan said, not turning from his book.

“Take it away from me, or I’ll stab you with it.”

“You will not sta- ahck!”

“Are you alright?” Patton asked.

“It didn’t hurt.” The false blade had given way, but it had sent some aggravating… _sensation_ across his nerves. “It was just very uncomfortable.”

“Virgil,” Patton said. “You can’t- eek!”

“Take the knife away from me,” Virgil said once more. “Or else.”


	5. Poison identification with Patton.

“Did you eat the muffin?”

Patton blinked over at Virgil. “Did I eat… what did you do to it?”

Virgil tilted his head. “Hmm… what _did_ I do to it?”

“Virgil, please no more poison training,” Patton moaned. Virgil just leaned over and kissed his forehead. “Do I get a hint?”

“No.”

Patton pouted at him pleadingly.

Virgil pursed his lips. “I used cherries to make the poison flavor stand-in.”

“So, a cherry flavored poison. Thanks, sweetie!”

“You have an hour until death.”

“And what’s ‘death’ this time?”

“You’ll start burping bubbles.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad.”

“Hmm, we’ll see.”


	6. Suspect identification with Logan.

Virgil ushered Logan into the room, which he fondly allowed. Logan’s day wasn't busy, and the inconvenience of Virgil’s ‘training’ was worth giving him an outlet for his recent heightened anxiety.

He squinted at Virgil when he saw the contents, or rather occupants, of the room. “You all consented to being here, I hope,” Logan said. All three castle workers nodded, though the clear indulgent bemusement on everyone’s faces had already answered. “What’s the test?”

“Who has a knife?”

“Sally, obviously,” considering the maid’s stifled laughter.

“Good! What type of knife?”

“…How could I know _that_?!”

“…There’s work to do.”


	7. Aerial attack evasion tactics with Logan.

“How many of those do you have?!” Logan yelled at the gremlin above him.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” he shot back.

“Yes!” Another two _things_ smacked his forehead. “What are these? Snail shells? Where would you get snail shells? Acorns? It’s not the right season!”

“For someone so smart, you’re really stupid Lo.”

A few more smacked his head. Logan glared up at him.

“What?” Virgil hopped down from the ledge he was on. “Patton escaped 30 minutes ago. You’re still trying to figure out what they are.”

Logan frowned.

“Stop over thinking things… also practice dodging aerial attacks.”


	8. Awareness training with Patton.

“Awareness training!”

Patton startled awake as something large landed on top of him. “Noooo,” he groaned without even opening his eyes.

“Yes!” Virgil proclaimed.

“It’s sleep time,” he lamented.

“Assassins don’t wait for the daytime.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” Patton grumbled.

Patton felt hands gently touch his neck and scrunched up his nose; they were cold. “I’m strangling you,” Virgil informed him. “What do you do?”

Patton peaked opened one eye. “Die I guess,” he said tiredly.

“No!”

“Virgil it’s the middle of the night. I’m tired.”

“Assassins don’t care. Now apprehend me.”

“…Can I use the cookie sheet?” he grumbled.


	9. Lock picking training with Logan and Patton.

Patton tried to stifle his laughter. He wasn’t doing a good job, but it didn’t matter because Logan was too distracted.

“Unlock this box right now!” Logan commanded in his best princely tone.

Virgil looked at him, seemingly bored. “No.”

“Right now!”

“Let Patton have another turn with the lock pick,” Virgil suggested.

“No,” Logan snapped. “No more lock pick. Key! Now!”

“It’s training.”

“Give me back the Pragilium text or else.”

“It’s the only thing that’s motivated you to do lock picking training.”

“You’re grounded.”

Virgil laughed. “You can’t ground me.”

“I’ll get Dad to ground you… stop laughing!”


	10. Falling training with Logan and Patton.

“Tuck your head in a little more next time,” Virgil instructed once Patton rolled to a stop on the squishy mat, “but pretty good.” He turned to Logan. “Your turn!” His foot swept Logan’s legs out from under him without warning. Logan’s arms pinwheeled, and he landed flat on his face. “Come on Logan! You can do better!”

Logan slowly peeled his face off the mat to glare at the blurry figure above him. “I wasn’t ready.”

“You should always be ready!”

Logan returned his face to the mat.

Patton giggled. “Come on, it’s kinda fun.”

“It’s not fun,” Virgil insisted. “It’s important!”

Logan turned his head to look at Patton.

Patton slowly smiled and stood while Logan stayed on the ground. “Are you _sure_ it’s not fun?” he asked.

“Yes! It’s seri-ah!” Logan lunged and wrapped his arms around Virgil’s ankles as Patton shoved him down. “Hey!” Virgil sputtered as he halfheartedly wrestled with Patton.

“Fun!”

“No!” but he let Patton pin him.

“Yes!” Patton replied, poking him in the sides.

He yelped and then growled. “Fine. You want fun? I’ll give you fun!”

Patton shrieked as Virgil flipped them. That was the end of training for that day.


End file.
